Interview with a Tweaker

The events that you are about to read are real. It is not fiction, nor is it a dramatization of events that happened previously. It is, very simply, the living, reel-time chronicles of a hard-core methamphetamine addict in the advanced stages of addiction. I am that addict, and you may refer to me as The Night Watchman.

So much of what appears on the web and elsewhere harshly condemns methamphetamine, as well as those who use it, whether moderately or regularly (as is the case with most drugs, except marijuana which seems to be enjoying a new rebirth of acceptability, in California particularly). Well I have decided to stand up for meth. It is not, the most horrific substance ever to be created by man. It is, in fact, a miracle drug, an elixir par excellance, a cure for many of the maladies of modern living! How can I say this? I have personally experimented with it over the last 23 years and have come to appreciate and respect its properties. I have no plan on ever living my life, even for a single day, without the gift of methamphetamine!

Now I am not advocating its' use for everyone, mind you, because quite simply, not everyone can handle it. Like any prescription medication, there are side effects which vary from user to user and in some cases may prohibit a user from enjoying the hundreds of benefits without experiencing some often devastating consequences. But for the rest of us, who experience few of the bad side effects, its as if meth was made for us and we were made for meth.

I will be explaining and backing up these statements over the course of this blog; not all at once, but slowly; and with enough quantatative and measurable examples as to win over any skeptic.

It's early morning now, my 14th day or so without sleep. I feel completely alive and invigorated. Psychologically there is nothing I feel that I cannot do or accomplish, no task too big. Meth's first and greatest benefit is that it has allowed me to conquer time, sleep and, to a lesser degree, the bodies dependence on food.

Have you ever stopped to think what greatness you personally could achieve if you didn't have to waste time sleeping and eating? If you never experienced fatigue? Think how far you might have gotten by now in your career? Meth not only suppresses fatigue, but it also enhances mental acuity and the user's ability to concentrate on any given task (to the exclusion of all else.) Valuable assets for any employee, wouldn't you say? Absolutely. My employers have often wondered why Night Watchman worked through all of his lunch breaks (of course the bathroom breaks compensated for them; bathrooms are the best place to "re-energize" (get high) at work.

For the last 7 hours I've been at my computer--never once during that time having had to look away, get up, stretch, or any other such distracting non-sense. I've systematically accomplished, in that time, several important and useful tasks: 1) I created a MySpace profile to advertise my blog 2) I created 10 music video playlists on YouTube (20 music videos per list) for me to enjoy throughout the coming days and nights, and 3) I played 27 games of Word Whomp on Pogo.com (a game which, when under the "meth-fluence" is an addiction in itself), and finally, I ended the night by writing this blog.

That's what I call productivity.

Of course, I'm thirsty as hell. My mouth is so dry that I could quite probably spit dust! Unrelenting thirst and total dehydration is one of those unavoidable "recreational hazzards" when on meth. I have had a 33 fl ounce bottle of water sitting next to me for the last 12 hours and have been unable to drink it--I vow to finish it today, however. Yes, even thirst can be defyed when empowered by meth---though keeping properly hydrated is an absolute must in maintaining health and mental equilibrium.

In the coming blogs I will teach those of you who like myself are convinced that Meth is the best thing since sliced bread, how to protect your health (kidney, liver, heart) and also your teeth! (After 23 years my teeth are are still right where they are supposed to be, as white as any teeth would naturally be at my age, and functional.) No one ever correctly guesses my age, always picking a number 5 to 10 years younger. So much for the myths of Meth aging.

I'm going to bust a lot of myths in this blog--the writing of which has now allowed me to use some of the extra hours that I have at my disposal , as opposed to those of you who simply sleep your lives away during the night. It's said that you people spend 1/3 of your entire lives ASLEEP. What a waste! Having dispensed with the need for sleep, except for perhaps 5 days a month, it is as though I have already lived twice the life span of a non-meth user, since I maximize the use of both the brightness of day and the darkness and solitude of night.

Within a month you too will be convinced that what we've been taught by society to loathe simply because of the behavior of some tweakers (no doubt mal-adjusted before they began tweaking) is in fact the greatest gift to mankind since our first, distant ancestor discovered the bounty of controlled fire!